I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
