I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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