dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
