My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
