sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we're making bets on your personal life
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
