so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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