You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
