Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
