So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
