One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
