I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
