you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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