okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
