You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
