I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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