real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
