Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
