There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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