And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
