Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
