Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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