Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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