I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
no more duck duck goose at the bar
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
false alarm, still single
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
