the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
