Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
