He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
