we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
