I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
