quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
