i think i have herpe
just one?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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