dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
