I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Randomize
