walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
