3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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