I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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