At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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