About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm both gender and math confused
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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