My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
