Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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