Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
