Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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