found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
