it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize