Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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