in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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