please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
