I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
