Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
