i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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