So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
