i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
