Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
